There's an odd expression in Proverbs 19. "Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death." The author is saying discipline teaches a child how to live, but passive parents set their kids up for self-destruction. What would make a parent passive? Not knowing how to discipline and the fear of losing kids to the other home paralyzes parents and stepparents. But passivity leads to death. Find your nerve as a parent and offer them life, instead.