I always try to get parents and stepparents to understand kids better so they'll be more patient with them and agents of healing for them. Proverbs 19:11 says, "Good sense makes one slow to anger." Children in stepfamilies have been through a lot. That doesn't excuse their behavior, but making sense of it is vital if you're going to know how to respond. Like, seeing sadness behind a child's frustration. That insight will add compassion to your response and that changes everything for a child.