Let's say the stepparent thinks there needs to be more consequences and the biological parent agrees but wants to go about it differently. The stepparent can feel like an outsider trying to find their place. Parenting in stepfamilies is really complex so I can't give you one simple answer to every scenario but what I can do is to encourage you to get educated. Read online articles and books, go to seminars, start a ministry in your church-find the answers. You and your kids will be glad you did.