In blended families biological parents need to be Gentle-Respectful of the concerns of their spouse, the stepparent. Automatically shutting them down with, “No, my kids aren’t disrespectful to you behind my back” isn’t helpful. In fact, it’s dangerous. Your spouse has a different perspective so listen, consider, empathize. Then figure out what to do. Also, be Gentle-Respectful toward the caregivers in your child’s other home. Respect their time, their space, their authority, their relationships.