Well, I can’t speak to specific circumstances, but in general do two things: First, speak out of your desire for the relationship not your anger at the person. You don’t say, “You don’t care about me.” Instead say, “I miss us. I want to figure this out.” And second, if you’re really stuck, you need a marriage therapist. You need more than a book or a conference. You need someone really trained to handle marital issues. It may take awhile to find the right therapist but your marriage is worth it.